Monday, August 22, 2011
i have taken the road less traveled..(and forgot how to get back!!!)
had a good day today!!! spent the day with my step mom and son it was nice and i noticed that staying busy really keeps my mind off of the things that upset me or can't get out of my head. i feel like sometimes i am a child. i can't seem to make up my mind. when i finally get what i thought i wanted it turns out i really didn't want it or do not want it anymore. and i think i know why. i am in a constant doubt of myself, like any decision i make is going to be wrong. and that makes me scared as well. it seems like i can't make an adult decision anymore.. it is so frustrating to be me sometimes!! i just hate looking back and remembering how confident and smart and funny and beautiful i used to be and realizing i have come SO far, just in the opposite direction. i feel like i have backtracked so much i don't even remember where i came from sometimes.. i have lost myself...and forgot which way to go to look for me again........
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amber I had posted some comments I hoped would be helpful for you. I have had some what of a parlell life to yours. Though I was youngest of 2 children my sister is 15 years older and was abusive when she was there. I had to be my moms mom. According to others I'm a spoiled brat. Sooooo not true, I had one parent in my home. my mom was totally disfunctional alcholic. We had raging drunken parties in my home with a multitude of trumatic events. please let me know if you got my other messages in here. love u aunt Dawna. p.s. one of the posts was anonomous
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